Getting engaged is just the prologue to spending your life together in marital bliss, but the first step is always the hardest. It may have come up in conversation, it may be discussed over dinner, but the ring will be on your bride-to-be's hand before and probably a long time after the wedding. Hopefully what to do during marriage is discussed moreso, as after the ring has been put on the finger, there'll be a lot of planning in the upcoming days and years (hopefully) after.
The Engagement Ring Budget
Yes, love conquers all, but it won't necessarily conquer the shop assistant at the jewellers (unless you're marrying her, of course). Also, take the "three-month rule" and bury it in the backyard, because in order for the diamond companies for you to show up and buy their more expensive items, they have to make something up. Because you care, right?
Set a price for a ring that you can afford, that won't make you go into financial debt and wonder how you're going to eat that month. You're no good to your fiancée dead. It is allowed to upgrade your dearest's engagement ring later on, by resetting a new stone into the band, or just by buying a brand new one to her specifications, not the tacky red and gold thing that you got her to yours.
If your budget is super-tight (i.e. you don't have one), then another option that has been cited is just by looking in second-hand stores or garage sales. If you get lucky, you'll find something that is "The One." Also, there may be a ring that has gone through the family for years, that could be re-sized for your potential other half. If it worked for Prince William, why not for you?
The Wedding Band
Now that you know how much you can afford, we now have to start with what type of band that you can get. The band should be a good match to your beloved's skin tone and personal preference. If she buys lots of fall colours for clothes, it’s a good bet that she'll like a gold band. The more upmarket you go, you'll eventually reach platinum and then after that you can get all sorts of great designs and precious metals etched into the ring. Remember that her finger will get bigger in summer and smaller in winter, so get something in between. An super-expensive band may require your beloved to enter a very small shop in order to try the ring on for a fitting, as it won't do if you've spent $50,000 on something only for it to fall off her finger all the time. Also make sure that the band thickness suits the finger and once again, personal preference.
There are a lot of different designs out there. Ones which come with the stone inset, ones with the stone "held" in between like two fingers holding it, ones with lots of claws holding the stone in. Gold bands are more susceptible to movement due to their softness, so if gold is her colour, then get something that suits the stone well in holding it. Just the two claws usually won't do, and the ones that are merely held in position (the "holding it between two fingers" type) have a reputation for falling out, usually about an hour before the wedding, inciting mass panic.
There are also wedding sets, which have an engagement ring and a wedding band that complement each other. If you're choosing it yourself, then make sure you still have room to manoeuvre in regards to the wedding band as well.
The Stone for the Engagement Ring
Engagement rings are traditionally diamond, but there are a lot of other interesting choices out there. Cubic zirconia is popular, as it can give that "bling" factor for very little cost, but it can lose its colour over time. With this stone, however, you can have more stones laid in for very little cost, if it suits the band. Jade has become slightly more popular over the years, and white sapphire has been hanging around for probably hundreds. Moissanite is also gaining popularity, with it being the stopgap between diamond and cubic zirconia. Diamond is the one, of course, that "lasts forever," but make sure the stone is polished every now and again in order for it to show itself off.
Diamond Stone Characteristics
Put simply, the number of carats that a stone has makes the diamond larger and heavier, so watch the type of band that you're using, plus the thickness of the band as well in accordance with finger size and how much activity she does. A larger ring will be at more risk of getting "bumped," making it come out of the claw setting. It will also make the stone more expensive, since larger diamonds are harder to find than smaller ones, genius. Two 0.5 carats do not equal a 1 carat diamond for this reason.
The clarity of the diamond also lends to the price. This is the grading of the number of inclusions in the diamond and how it refracts light. The more inclusions there are, the less it will sparkle. Also there is the colour. Having a perfectly white diamond is super-expensive, and the lower down the grading, the more of a yellowish tinge the diamond has, due to build up of nitrogen within the stone. Some grades have very little between them, but if picking a silver coloured band, a recommendation would be to look for a whiter stone, as you don’t really want your betrothed to find out you’re cheap, even if you think it’s a bargain.
The cut and polish of the diamond is that final touch, the level of workmanship that goes into the stone to refract as much light as possible in order for it to have that "inner fire."
Options on how the stone is designed vary wildly. The most common are the round brilliant type (mostly because of it being the "safest") the princess cut (square, with a tapered base) and the emerald cut. These cuts also affect how the diamond reacts to sunlight. Princess cut is gaining more popularity due to it being able to show off the "inner fire" more. There are plenty of types of cuts out there (probably enough to do another article), but it will be up to the shop and yourself in the end.
What Kind of Engagement Ring Does the Girl Want
If you've read all the above and are still none the wiser, then ask her, in a casual conversation, what she would really like. Your tastes and hers may not match, and she is the one wearing it, not you, Slappy. If you still want it to be somewhat of a surprise, to find the right moment, then you're taking her specifications of what she wants but the final choice would be up to you. You can even try and get one of the rings she usually wears around for fun and make an impression of that in a candle in order to get the ring size more or less correct. It may need to be re-sized later, even after this. Or even ask one of her friends to act as a spy. One of her smarter ones, that is, not the one who will say, "Your boyfriend wants to know your ring size! What is it, then?"
Woe betide if you decide on a platinum band with a round cut stone, and she wants a gold band with princess cut. On the other hand, a cheap ring-sizer works, or if you’ve already discussed at length what she wants, then get a fitting. They’re usually free at most shops.
The Jewellers (or eBay)
Looking in a shop is the easiest route, and is also the most exhausting, especially if the shop manager isn't that pleasant to be around with. Another option is, of course, online shopping. Unless you're looking at eBay, then most jewellery websites will have different types of ring that rotate around to have a look, have a movie dedicated, maybe even a musical theme tune. The website must give you a lead-time in order to know when the ring can be made. Also be wary of shops selling wedding bands made out of 24ct gold, as it probably isn't. 24ct is far too soft to work with and probably won't hold the stone for very long after it has been set. Once again, cue mass panic thereafter once the diamond has fallen into the toilet.
If possible, find someone with good reviews or has a good reputation. They may be slightly more expensive because of it, but it will probably be worth it, as you may even get your ring on time.
One Ring to Rule Them All
How you present the ring is entirely up to you. Sweaty hands are an optional extra, and so is a big cake, the restaurant, falling flat on your face instead of getting down on one knee and so on. But in the end, making sure of personal preference and budget, you can get what you both want, and that’s the point for the rest of your life.
James Clapham - After winning his Creative Writing Diploma, James Clapham moved to Slovakia. He currently works as an English teacher there, and is also ...
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